Witnesses of Family Quarrels

Every family has its own problems and the reasons to argue with each other. However, the parents should not forget that their children observe all that is going on and notice even the slightest tension relations on initiate level. The behavior of parents influence the unstable psychology of kids and it may cause some troubles in future.

There are several unfavorable patterns of parents’ behavior which can produce a negative impact on their kids. For example, let’s take a situation when parents can’t agree on the questions of kids’ education. The mother restricts the amount of sweets her kid is allowed to eat; the farther ignores this restriction and gives the kid everything it wants. It is clear that the conflict between the partners, but they should not transfer their problems to their kids. If they use kids as a so-called “joker” in their quarrels the kid starts feeling anxiety, which can lead to sleep disorders, hysteria and diseases. The most cunning kids develop manipulative skills – they apply to the parent who shows more relaxed attitude towards family rules.

Another common situation in the family is the presence of some financial or other difficulties and the attempt of parents to isolate the kid from the problem completely. However, the kid will notice the tension even if you do not discuss the problem openly, and, finding no direct answer, starts to invent the reasons of such tense atmosphere in his head. The first thought is usually that it is due to his fault that parents look sad. To stop the development of the sense of guilt in your kid try to explain to him what’s going on and allow him to feel that he participates in the solution of the family problems. But avoid grim details of these difficulties; just repeat that everything will be all right. If the crisis is over, but the kid still feels uneasy, organize some family holiday in order to demonstrate the success – some trip, feast and so on.

In some families it is believed that it is better to conceal the feelings and that the open demonstration of them may look improper. Parents have quarrels, but hide them from the kids. As a result, children think that the relations of their mom and dad are ideal. When they grow up, they search for the same pattern and, as you can guess, fail to find it. It leads to a conflict between the reality and the ideal in their minds. To save the kids from this psychological disorder, do not be afraid to show negative emotions in front of them. Just make him understand that quarrels are not so bad and after any argument there follows reconcilement. Teach your kid that any argument can be settled with the help of compromise and he will learn the pattern of real relations.

On the other hand, some parents prefer scandals, hysteria and curses to spice up their life. However, the kid perceives every loud scandal as the destruction of his personal world, which can make him fear of darkness, monsters and lots of other things. So, observe the measure while arguing with each other in order not to hurt the psychic of your kids.

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